Sometimes I feel that I'm a real bastard. Reason being that, I tend to suck in human relations. I wouldn't point out specific examples, but here are general reasons why:
One, I like to mix around with different groups of people, yet not seek to totally commit myself to any single group. It's really conflicting to me and to them, you know. You have many pockets of friends, but yet you're not as close in all of them, and the real conflict comes when all of them expects you to make a commitment, but you can't, leading to them to think that you're just "flirting" around. Imagine you thought this guy was your friend because he joined you for lunch one day, but he joins someone else tomorrow. Then suddenly he comes back to join you the next day for lunch... "why? he suddenly no more friends only come and find me huh?"
Two, I flicker in my treatment towards people, very extremely. Sometimes, I feel that they're so dear to me and I really appreciate them, but at times I just ignore people, as in totally not respond/treat them coldly. I don't understand why I do this, and I always regret after my actions, but it just comes so naturally to me. Maybe I just want to keep my distant from people, or sometimes I just want to make myself feel wanted or positionally "higher than you" to masturbate my ego. When I reflect on this, I feel like I'm letting people I know down, and yea, I feel that I'm a bloody bastard for doing so.
There you go, two reasons for calling Chunhowe a bastard. Dijamin-ed oleh chunhowe somemore.
On a side note, the new season 12 of Topgear is back!!! Yay!
