The Story of An Accountant.

Today, ah-boys and ah-girls, Chunhowe-shushu wanna tell you a story of a Young Accountant:

*cue wavy waters and sound of harp*

Once, there was this Accountant who lived in this very rich and expensive country. Even so, He lived frugally (at least he thought so) and kept an record of his expenses as much as he could every month.

All was well, until one month where he thought that he had excess savings and overspent slightly here and there. So at the end of the month, he thought that his books should balance and at the most, he should be slightly in the red.

However, to his horror! He went through his papers and realised that his estimates were way of the mark. The entire month had been full of happiness and joy that he had not only blew his budget, but also overspent into the next month! Horrified, he closed up the accounts of that month as fast as he could. He didn't dare to check if the previous month's estimates. It wouldn't do anymore things to it but to pile more misery.

So, he off-ed his laptop, and tried to sleep, but couldn't sleep. So he watched a movie, but he didn't know it was a 2 hour movie that he had downloaded. So he woke up the next day late for class and feeling sleepy. Out of desperation, he bought a huggeeeee cup of coffee and couldn't sleep that night too.

Moral of the story: Blarrrdy hell...! The more you know about your finances, the more it hurts.

And, Ignorance is NOT bliss. Ignorance is pure retardedness. People who can afford to remain ignorant about finances are pure lucky. Like me.

ps. there goes my year end holidays.
pss. I need to get a job soon. A fulltime one, btw, considering that I'm graduating next year.
psss. Any resemblence to any persons or objects, dead or alive is truly fictional. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.
pssss. NO HOLIDAYS!!! ARGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Hello, Mr Fly.

There's been a rather irritating visitor in my room for the whole day. It's extremely annoying when you have a friend wheezing all around your room on circuit tracks, and purposely turning circles in between me and my screen.

"Look at me! I'm a F1 racerrrr!! wrooommmmmm!"

And before you say anything, I noticed that it was attracted to my fluorescent study lamp that I had just bought a week ago (someone was bound to say that I must be smelling). Also, the most frustrating thing is that, when I open the damn window big big, the thingie don't want to go out one! omgbbq?

"I like your room, it's warmer. "

me: "Then stop turning in circles in front of me la!"

fly: "my back quite shiny right? I spent the whole day yesterday polishing my back one you know?"

me: "OH MY GODDDDDD!!!"

So then, I came out with 5 things to do if there's a fly stuck in your room:

1. shoot it.
2. ignore it.
3. get out of your room.
4. catch it.
5. shoot it.
   

Doesn't seem to be quite the list, right not?

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On a lighter note, I'm starting to suspect that girls are spending more money on make-up than a photographer on lenses. look here.

I might be able to do a thesis on this. xD

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Edit: OMG! THERE'S TWO OF THEM NOW!!! ARRGGRGRGRGHHHHH!

The Olympics Games.

Usain Bolt.
Tyson Gay.
Asafa Powell.

Bolt Gay Powerrr~

Chai Chun Howe.

No wonder I'm not in the Olympics - It's all in the name lah.

Why am I losing so much hair...

...nan dao i got cancer!?

*deng deng deng dennggg* O.o!!

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I just finished my exams for the F8 Audit Assurance. wohooo~ damn happy man!

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On another note, I'll like to share with you my current desktop situation which is, surprisingly serving as a study and motivational tool, rather than the distraction it has always been over the years.

大きい秘密のデスクトップの暴露2008年
never before seen, sugoi secrets! today opened for your viewing pleasure!



lol, i know. this is stupid... but this is my blog right? =P

Let's get motivated!

Some Frustrational Motivational Posters for my fellow ACCA students:

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Tra la la~ Let me know if anyone wants wallpic/print size to stick up on your wall. Haha!

Cheers.

The Memoirs of an Elephant.

Sometimes, do you ask yourself questions that normally you would not have expected to think about?

I was watching a program of zoos in UK, specifically Cardiff zoo, where they were trying to take care of an old female elephant's sore legs.

While it was walking, I noticed that the size of the elephant's "breast" or "tilts" were shaking with every movement.

Then I wondered:
How does an elephant calf drink its mum's milk?

Like this?



"So many trucks! ITCHY!!"

Or,



"Yeaman~ petrol station~"

NO MAN! ELEPHANTS LAY EGGS!!!

evolution, brudder.

Let's all sing spring!

Spring is finally here! Yay!

It has never in my life been that of a prominent event before. After all, it was always sun and sun back in Malaysia, whereas now, you really notice the change of weather and trees starting to bloom back. Make me pr0-lly wanna sing Chinese New Year songs.

Huan ying da di hui chun~
(welcome big land come back to spring)

Hu die *la la la la la*
(butterflies singing la la la)

Ming feng weng weng cai hua wen
(bees weng weng pick flower powder)

Qing lv man bu *la la la*
(couples slowly la la la. NB: not porn ok?)

Yi pian chun se dong ren xin!
(one piece of spring colour touch people heart)

Woo~ High ah!

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Japanese games have always rock, but this brings it up to a whole new level. If you have been looking for a convincing reason to persuade your mum to buy you a Nintendo Wii, this might do the trick...

Introducing the Super Pii Pii Brothers!

Now you can train to pee pee in your wii wii. =D

Product Features:

• Video Game for Nintendo Wii Provides a Virtual Peeing Experience
• Amazing Realistic Pee Fluid Dynamics
• Imported from Japan
• Comes with game disc and Wiimote belt harness
• Includes cross regional boot disc to allow play on US Wii consoles
• Minimal Japanese text makes game easy to understand if you can't read Japanese
• Over 100 different peeing environments with multiple toilet and urinal styles
• Up to two players can compete with dueling pee streams

All pee included too.

What next!? The Super Poo Poo Sisters meh?

Top Secret: Suscipions of Werewolf Roommate.

Currently, I stay in a room on the third floor of the house. The room can fit about two beds length-wise, and two and a half beds width-wise. It faces South-East, where Malaysia is, just like how Muslims pray in the direction of Mecca.

The following is an extract of the report I sent to F.B.I. Malaysia* detailing my the status and progress of my mission.

XOXO- TOP SECRET -XOXO

Subject: Suspicions of Roommate is a Werewolf.

The subject in question is an Indian. He's in his late twenties, currently 90% working and 10% student. He's supposed to be studying but apparently he appears to be not. A student is just his cover.

The following is his biodata:

Name: Garan-Something
Codename: Gary
Age: Late twenties. Told me once but I forgot
Height: Short
Weight: Skinny
Race: Indian
Hobbies: Sleep, Play Age of Empires III

Photograph:



Don't get fooled by the above image. He might not seem to be there, but he's there, camouflaged well in his natural habitat. He doesn't seem to have the habit of keeping clean, but does once in a full blue moon.

Characteristics:

1. The subject has messy hair. He also has hair all over his chest, back and legs. He might be a werewolf, so I keep garlic under my bed at all times. Claims to be vegetarian but this is still highly disputable.

2. The subject has an abnormal sleep pattern which allows him to sleep anytime of the day and night, as long as it's 15 hours a day. He has a tendency to get up wake for work, as he has already done twice in the past month I've been here. It's winter and it might be his hibernating season.

3. The subject is always out of the room under the pretense of working. Normal subjects are only allowed to work 20 hours a week. However, although the subject is officially a student, he has the amazing ability to work 40 hours a week. Might be his uncanny werewolf blood that has helped him.

Artist Impression:



It must be noted that the subject has a jovial and laid back character. Stones out often. Maybe thinking about how cook his next meal. Most of the time his girlfriend packs dinner for him, thus coming to the "don'tknowwhattocooktonight" dilemma.

Future Plans:

For now, we plan to go to Asda tomorrow to buy some food and try out some new recipes. But in the long run, constant monitoring will be maintained at all times.

In case of the subject finding out about these suspicions, this post will self destruct in 5 seconds.

Chunhowe, over and out.

.
PS. The acronym F. B. I. Malaysia = Friends Back In Malaysia

XOXO- THE END -XOXO

*boom*

Funny Thai Disaster Commercial.

Was reading about funny Thai commercials on Kennysia.com, followed his link to Youtube, and found this. Damn hilarious!

Quote comment on page:

you have a chance only 0.000000001%
Krungthep insurance

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Been surfing a lot recently, and just wanted to recommend some reads I enjoyed:

# Think you're unlucky? Think again: 7 unluckiest people in the world [link]
# Thought your ice cream was colourful? Check out the Rainbow Iceberg [link]
# Check this out! I'd love to be able to make illusion art like THAT! [link]

Lamity Rules! Mr Papa Toe Strikes Back!@#$%^

WoooOoOOooO! I'm back!

Don't groan.

Don't sob.

Quote Polish Mum: "Bravo, Machik, Bravvvvoo..."

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I was studying that day in my room that day, without the internet, sitting in a yoga position on my bed.

I was so bored that I accidentally drew a line on my toe.

Okay.

I purposely drew another.

And.



"Hello!"

Mr Left Papa Toe popped out of no where and stared at me intensely, without saying a word after. I stared back at him, afraid that he might attack me if I ever did blinked or looked away for a split second.

Finally, after staring at each other and almost embracing into a kiss, he shook his head and to my upmost horror, his children came!



Mr Left Papa Toe made his children pop out onto my other toes!

2nd Toe: "Hi! I'm an enthusiastic team leader!"
3rd Toe: "Hi! I'm stuck! !@#$%^&*"
4th Toe: "Hi! I'm a computer technician!"
5th Toe: "Hi! I'm a girl and the only sister in the family!"

......

Next Up: Mrs Right Mama Toe!

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Yea, as if I care if I just published pictures of my leg online.

10 cultural differences that will make you realise you're in London.

#10. You have to sort your rubbish into recyclables: paper, plastics, glass and others. Which isn't a bad thing too.


And the town council provides containers too!

#9. Suddenly, everyone there is toasting to your newly found friendship. When they talk to you, every line ends with the words "cheers" and "mate".


Maybe they just want to get you drunk and rape you.

#8. You watch BBC to realise how horrendous British humour can be. You can't catch what they're laughing at at all.


And that's why Mr Bean's their only comedy export.

#7. You visit Tesco to buy rice, only to find them sold by the 500g packages. By contrast, you swear to the Holy Mother of God when the bread section covers 4 large shelves.


"Holy Mother of GOD!?"

#6. Did I mention that the Tesco here sells insurance too? [link]


Now you can insure your Jeon pet too!

#5. Your classmates love their text so much. 70% of them will stay rooted in their seats eating sandwiches during lunch breaks.


But somethings never change.

#4. People frown at you when you're in the house barefooted. You're supposed to keep slippers on IN your house.


Maybe you're suppose to wear these.

#3. Pedestrians rule the streets. Press the tiny button on the traffic light, and within 10 seconds you get to cross one of the busiest roads in the area, happily jamming up cars behind it for half a kilometer.



#2. For a second, you thought you were in a black and white film. Cause everyone wears only black, grey and dark brown. Now, you think twice when you take out that pink shirt from the wardrobe.



*drumroll*

#1. You stay up all night for football, only to realise that the match has been played in the afternoon.


"GOALLL NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Cheers.

ed's note: if you were wondering, the picture in post #5 is not my college. This might help many thou:
How to Enact Damage Control after a Classroom Catnap. [Link]

Holy Shit! My College's Gone!?

I always wished that THAT would happen to me one day.

Sigh.

Rough sketch pencil, 15 mins?

Was actually LOLing when I drew people dropping out of the windows. Roxxorz.

"Die! Peter Keeling~!!" (P1 Lecturer)

Possible Fraudulent "Cohesion"

Laughing at my own typo in the previous post.

Couldn't help it! That's what happens after 5 hours of revision, well, inclusive of 2 Mythbusters episodes and 1 hours worth of The Assasination of Jesse James.

I think I'll blog using cartoons more in the future, it's so much easier.

Anyone hanging up on Jessica Alba is wrong, wrong, WRONG!

The Task... is to Procrastinate.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

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Just wanted to post something fun.

Chunhowe does not Procrastinate k?

Or at least, he tries feebly not to repeat the same mistakes which could potentially materially misstate his "Statement 0f Comprehensive Performance" in accordance with IAS 1 which may lead to qualification of his Financial Statements. *crushes tissue paper in hand* But since an audit opinion is limited by inherent limitations, possible fraudulent cohesions etc, it is by persuasive rather than conclusive evidence that shows that Chunhowe does not procrastinate.

True and fairly.

*arghh struggles*

Regrets - Goodbye, My Good Friend.

Have you ever felt handicapped before?

Not about the terribly exciting game for the wealthy where you randomly swing metal sticks and then strenuously exercise by training your eyes to look small, tiny white balls in vast areas of greens.

I'm talking about being actually physically impaired.

I remember my Chemistry teacher in secondary school once told us a tale of his friend who woke up one day and suddenly realised that he had turned blind overnight.

And that we used to call him a "Terrorist" behind his back.

Just to show how fragile life actually is, you know. One day your friend can be doing a bit of night jogging, then to see him the next day bedridden forever due to a car accident. You never see such stuff coming along... Just like Rikimaru's or Phantom Assassin's Blinkstrike, see your back suddenly got a bit of blood, suddenly crit crit crit, then you start counting down 50 seconds again.

Btw, I stopped DotA-ing d. Chunhowe mature liao.

Back, I just saw a glimpsed of my own disability for a second a while ago.

I was switching SIM cards, when I wanted to use my *extended* fingernail on my right pinky which I had been keeping and maintaning for the past 2 years. A great and handy tool in times of urgent needs. You might never know when you'd need to pry something small, or point at a specific spot on the map, or scratch the inside of your nose when it gets itchy.

Suddenly, I realised that I had just snipped it off 5 minutes ago.

For a second, it dawned on me that I had just lost a great buddy, a helpful partner, a steady brother. Like I had just tok-ed off my dick.

I looked again at my right hand upright, palm facing me.

My pinky looked incomplete, as if a segment had just been chopped off.

Regrets, I have many.

Emo-nyer.

Accountants have the Balls of a Gorilla.

I was in my first P1 class today, Professional Accountant.

What kind of name is "Professional Accountant" anyways? So, now they teach us to be ethical lah? Or to prevent us from becoming "Amateur Accountants", or to make sure that we are "Skilled Accountants"?

A: Hi, my name is Paul Yan. I'm a pro-gamer.
B: Hi, my name is Chunhowe. I'm a pro-accountant.
A: =.="

Anyways, class was downright boring. Read that with a triple "O" and a echoing "-ing".

I almost dozed off when the lecturer was going through the first chapter. Then I suddenly jolted up when I heard him say "...study this nine key concepts."

HUH! STUDY NINE KING KONG SACKS???

Untitled 5

"Mama! how do you do it?" asked the little tiger cub, as he stared excitedly, full of admiration, at his mother, eyes filled with curiosity and awe, along with a slight tinge of envy.

The tigress, standing tall and overlooking the high cliff which protruded outwards from a mountain wall like an uncompleted bridge trying to reach the ends of the world. Her vulture like eyes gazing across the golden horizon silhouetted with shadows of acacia trees and tall savanna grass. On her face, wrote a whelming amount of overpowering ambition and strength. Her slow gaze moved steadily on to the plains, where the hyena, antelopes, rhinoceroses, elephants and even members of her own clan stood. Their heads were bowed gently downwards, as a sign of respect and recognition. For, indisputably, She was the Alpha, the leader of the pack.

Yet, upon hearing her child's sincere woes, she looked down at him, this time, with the feminine eyes of an understanding mother, and answered.

"It's because I eat Tiger biskuat, my dear. "

twinkle twinkle little star

Its 4am now. My roommate's asleep and its kinda quiet. why am i awake at this wee hours of dawn, you may ask. damn hell, my 2.4 paper's 11 hrs away.

I look out at my window and all i see is the college coated in colours of crimson orange overveiled by coats of shadows. the streetlights shine along the road leading from it, numerous and bright, but of no apparent use at this hour of the night. Beyond the college yet lies further, buildings encrusted with small little orange lamps shinning at me distantly. Far, as they may, as if trying to vividly prove their existence to everyone else awake now.

I wonder who else is awake now. and what they're doing. It would perhaps be quite amazing and interesting to be able to know of that. and even knowing what they're thinking too would be cool; "boy in the blue shirt, pull your pants up and wash your hand right now. ", "drunk clubbing girl, get sober. you look damn ugly like that."

or maybe, "boy sitting at your desk. stop blogging now and get on with your studying right now." ahahaha.

i wonder what are you doing now?

and i wonder what would the stars be thinking? looking at the very land that they have shined upon for the past thousands of years gradually changing over time to become the very reflection of themselves.

"alamak, copycat." ..?

would they be angry... that they want to be the only things shinning at night? or maybe proud... just like how a parent would see their child to grow up to be just like them? or maybe they would be emotionless.. for they are actually nothing but ROCKS OF FIRE FAR FAR AWAY FROM EARTH?

...

ala. dun like that. emo-skit. sometimes being too clear-headed isnt good too eh?

*edit: yes! my logitech-typing woke my roommate up. woots~ and ya, i still cant upload any pics. sorry abt tt...

Lost in Translation

Malaysia is a land of many opportunities. For a young, outgoing and handsome teen like me, it would most probably be the opportunity to laugh at the mistakes of other people, for example, Malaysian movie translators...

You see, Malaysian cinemas have this tendency to subtitle all shows, no matter English, Chinese, Cantonese or whatsoever. And as they go with it, our favourite translators sometimes makes my day by making his translation funnier than the show itself!

Here're a few of them of the lowyat forums:

1) "You're fired!" = "Awak di-api!"

2) "Freeze, POLICE!" = "POLIS! BEKU!"

3) BLACK HAWK DOWN = Misi Merbahaya (Well, at least its not Burung Helang Hitam Jatuh.)

4) Day After Tomorrow = Lusa

5) The Fog = Kabus Maut

6) "Let's get the f**k outta here" = "mari kita bersetubuh keluar dari sini"

7) "No, shit!" - "tidak tahi!"

8) Pirates of the Carribean : Dead Man's Chest = Lanun Carribean : Dada Orang Mati

9) Saving private Ryan. = Selamat Kemaluan Ryan.

10) "Welcome to the dark side..." = "Selamat datang ke tempat gelap.."

roflmao? yeap, so did i... so did i too...=D

Declaration of Temporary Freedom

*breathes in deep*

*breathes out loud*

I A M F R E E ! ! !

yipee~

finally with the progress test 1 over, I'm free for a week's break of the CNYs. But that's probably the only holiday I'm going to have in like, 3 month's time. That's kinda damned, don't you think?


Meet Jessica and Ashley.

I wanted to blog yest, when it was Valentines. "Ala, jangan emo-lah, Jomi" rings to my mind. =D Valentines is probably one of the most wrenchful times of a single's life. What's more to say walking through Pyramid alone and lonely? And on top of that, the progress tests to cope with. But, but, thank God that its all over.

At least for the time being.

I hope my freedom lasts for slightly longer... at least I get to spend tonight free. Tomorrow will be a ride back to JB at 9am (should be). Back in JB, I'll be a family slave yet another time. No own plans, no altec lansing speakers, no lying on bed thinking about crap. In fact, my mum has already booked me to cut my house lawn. According to reports, there are 56 species of fungi unique to that ecosystem, and the UNESCO has designated it as an UN protected area.



If only she lived in my jungle.

.

I was bored that day, as i drank water, I read the label on my 5.5L Spritzer mineral water. To my upmost horror:

"Lokasi Punca Air/ Source Location:
Lot 904, Jalan Reservoir, Off Jalan Air Kuning"



For those who don't understand, the words in bold means "Yellow Water Road"

O.o