"When I talk about health and safety, it always reminds me of when those air stewardess will tell us: "Okay, there's the life vest underneath your seat, and (gestures) here's your whistle, and your little flickering light...", but I never understood the reason for those. So, I'm in the Atlantic Ocean (bobbling up and down) and I use my whistle on a plane high up above me (whistles lightly)... And I suppose they can see my little flickering light?
I rather they give me one of those big flashing beacons to attach to the top of my head, so they can really see me. And I rather have them give me a telephone than a whistle, so I can call my mum. 'Hi mum, I'm in the Atlantic Ocean now.'
But I don't think I'll call my wife, 'cause she will be somewhere shopping and having coffee parties with her friends. Well, I'll call, and all I'll get is the answering machine: "I'm sorry, we can't get to your wife now, she's busy having coffee parties."
(sad face) I've got a terrible wife. "
