Men (Part 3)

I tried to steal a laptop but unfortunately he was still in zone yellow. Damn.

(click here for part 2)
(click here for part 1)


Man, what can you do?

In this temporary period of immobility within Zone Yellow and Red, it has been observed that many men are paralysed from the waist down. Any sudden movements will cause an immediate interruption in the process, followed by swearing.

The reason behind such an reaction is largely unknown and clearly of a natural reflex nature, manifesting themselves within both big and small processes. While they have been reports of people with the astonishing ability to sneeze and stay in process at the same time, such an instance are rare and often point to unwanted water puddles.

Thus, the activities available to one in the context of the toilet, specifically the public are often limited. Such a limited context is due to the higher frequency of usage by guys, e.g., school toilets etc. (C'mon, only wimps use the home toilet - true, strong macho men brave the watery dungeon-like depths of the public toilet.)

In general, the activities achievable in the toilet share several common characteristics. A general rule of the thumb are such as:
1. located within arm's length.
2. does not involve high frequencies of leg and body movement.
3. not too exciting.

Well, if it's too exciting... well, you get difficulties.

A study done by the staff at yetanotherhowe.blogspot.com offered several activities that concurred with the above criteria. In addition to those, further observations suggested that due to these activities can be split into conscious and sub-conscious activities. On average, the average time spent in the toilet actually elongated unnecessarily only due to conscious activities, mostly after the actual process had been completed.

Such conscious activities would include:

1. observing reading materials but not understanding anything. Probably because men cannot do two big things at once.
2. fiddling with your cellphone.
3. looking for any ghostly apparitions that might appear under the cubicle walls, over the cubicle walls and in the freaking toilet bowl.Yes, that includes the occasional camera-phone-traps which springs out over the cubicle wall once in a while.

Unconscious activities however, often happen unvoluntarily and in a state of trance. This is a phenomena that, alike the Bermuda Triangle and how BN is still the majority political party in Malaysia, just simply cannot be explained. Some experts have suggested that occasionally, one's soul would leave the body for a tour of Africa and yet remain unknown to the body.

Instances of such activities are observed to be:

1. scratching/touching/massaging one's self everywhere.
2. staring at a spot and just patiently stone.
3. read comments, graffiti and poems on the walls and start composing one yourself (where yours truthfully got his training)
4. going on a spiritual tour of Africa.

(While majority of the topic has been discussed, we have yet to hit the main focus: man-to-man interactions in the toilet. For the last installment, we shall end with ethical issues which should be observed.)